Out-Of-Control

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So many things are out of my control. The head and body aches when there is a cold winter full moon, when hormones flare or when, storms are coming in.

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The ice and snow and cold, as beautiful as it is, has been here for months and is hanging in through March. The weather affects my normal modes of stress management – the roads are too bad and I miss my bodywork appointment, the temps are too cold and it’s not prudent to go in the hot tub, the footing is too slippery and I can’t do my daily walks and get on my therapy horse.

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I look up and miss the leaves on the barren trees. I know they are supposed to be coming soon, but right now, they are not here.

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I look down and see evidence of the food stores beginning to run out for the animals and I worry about my little wild friends.

My parents are aging, I am aging. The economy is still not secure. I just filed my taxes.

The new government healthcare system has been an unending source of frustration for me – they say “you must give us this documentation” and when I try to, their computers are down – seriously, I’m suppose to spend 10 hours trying off and on to upload what you want and you aren’t even organized or prepared enough to readily accept it?

So many things are out of my control and that is stressful. It’s a cycle, the stress causes my body to tense, the body tension causes pain, the pain causes my blood pressure to rise, my blood pressure rising causes my anxiety to skyrocket … I tell my heart, “I’m sorry for making you work so hard and thank you for hanging in there for me.”

I get out my camera and look for the beauty in the winter, because it is everywhere. I just have to refocus my lens and I’ll see it.

I breathe. Do a body scan and stretch. I chastise myself for feeling guilty when I go to sleep early or take breaks because my body is telling me I NEED them.

I am in control of listening to my body.

I am in control of respecting my body.

I am in control of redirecting and reframing my thoughts.

Yes, a lot of life is out-of-control, but a lot is in my control too. I think I’ll start to put more energy into what I can control. How about you?

Hibernation is an Option

The groundhog saw his shadow – 6 more weeks of winter …

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There is a lot of snow on the ground, as beautiful as it is, safe travel is a consideration. It’s not only snow, it’s the single digit temperatures and the below zero windchill readings.

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The horses are up to their knees in snow. Happily munching hay while tucked into warm winter blankets.

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It’s particularly hard going for other animals, our dog is about the size of a coyote and we also have fox around us.

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The white snow makes everything look different. Can you see it? Fresh snow, fresh horse.

6 more weeks of winter? Seriously?

Hibernation is an option!

Contrasts

Sunrise in the winter is beautiful – particularly when there is a “sun” rise (i.e. the gray clouds aren’t hiding it).

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It’s a frosty morning and I snap a picture of the grapevines on the split rail fence. The oranges and yellows of the light create a lovely warmth. But two steps down the driveway, I snap a second picture of the split rail fence. ┬áThe colors of these pictures have not been altered but notice the contrast! This second picture is like a black and white photo, sun and shadow, interesting but not exuding the warmth like the picture above, almost formed like the Tao sign.

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A nearly identical moment in time, literally just a split second and two steps apart but an entirely different viewpoint emerges. I wonder how often we take the time to look at all the vantage points of the moments of our life? Time or distance, possibly just around the turn, we may see a contrasting view that gives us a whole new set of information to ponder and consider.

Looking back and thinking about the emotions I feel, both of those pictures are lovely but my preference is facing the light, the oranges and yellows warming a cold scene. What about you? Do you have a preference?