I am a better person.

rear view of woman standing in balcony during sunset

Photo by Leah Kelley on Pexels.com

I am a better person.

I am a better therapist.

I am a better wife.

I am a better christian.

I know myself. I love myself. I know my triggers. I always did the best I could under the circumstances. I honor my past reactions. I’m thrilled with my current reactions. I’m content. Fear doesn’t have a hold over me. I am assertive with empathy. I am flexible. And I have boundaries. I can stand my ground and I can give ground. I’m able to think in the moment and to ask for a moment of time to think. I am at peace with my choices.

All of those things make me a better person. They allow me to be authentic and truthful and caring and grounded. They allow me to feel deeply, know my values, and act in alignment with who I am. But it wasn’t always that way. I have had my fair share of struggles. I have lived nearly every day of my life since my birth in sympathetic arousal (i.e. in a state of the fight-flight response).

How can someone be living in stress since birth? I was born with a raw nervous system that led to sensory sensitivity. Just think of all the sensations an infant is bombarded with … fabrics, odors, baths, temperature, softness, hardness, being moved through space, being hungry, being touched … when someone has a raw sensory system, those sensations create pain responses in their brain placing that little one in chronic stress.

I lived that way forever and did quite well in life, thank you very much. I learned to de-stress (a process that had to be repeated over and over) and I learned to cope by avoiding crowds and unpleasant situations and things. You do what you have to do and it becomes like a second skin. Many things helped … horseback riding, essential oils, mindfulness, relaxation, the hot tub, therapeutic music CD’s, sensory integration therapy … they took the edge off the stress and made life good but nothing offered a permanent solution.

But nothing felt permanent until I started energy healing. I can’t tell you exactly why this worked, I can only tell it has worked (and it has worked for others). I feel different. I’m me without the protective skin and I’m a strong me. We’re in the middle of a pandemic with possible shortages looming on the horizon and I’m going with the flow. My husband notices the change, I’m his rock. It’s not that I don’t feel stress, it’s that stress doesn’t get a grip on me … I have the inner strength to break the hold.

Energy healing is a combination of psychology and bodywork … a mind-body technique that gets to the root of problems in the mind-body system we live in as an embodied soul. Energy healing is a clinically proven and scientifically based technique combined with coaching questions and imagery exercises. I started energy healing a couple of years ago and have cleared out a lot of old emotions and trauma memories. And that surprised me, because I really did have a good childhood, I didn’t expect to have much baggage. I guess there’s a little wounded part in all of us.

It didn’t happen overnight but it did happen; I can be impatient and want to push through but it still took a full year. And I couldn’t do it by myself (believe me I tried, I’m a big do-it-yourselfer), I had to hire a coach. Why did I hire help? I got to the point where I kept feeling like I had tried everything else (except for psychotherapy and I didn’t feel like I needed therapy) and yet I knew I was working too hard to keep stress at bay … there was something that kept pulling me back to pain, back to sensory sensitivity, back to avoiding, back to pushing down bitterness and I was so frustrated with that. I wanted that to change and I wanted it to change before I got even one year older.

What a good decision … actually it was an amazingly fantastically smart decision that is paying off big time. The real me is now shining through. And the real me is powerful. I am powerfully me. I am a better person. I am a better therapist. I am a better wife. I am a better christian. Why? In one word, LOVE. I am able to love more deeply. Clearing out negative energy makes room for love to shine through. And THAT makes me a better person.

 

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