Mastery of Self-Awareness

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What is the most significant thing about self-awareness?

It creates choice!

What you do without awareness happens automatically, and seems to be beyond your control. When you do something with self-awareness, however, you have a choice about it.

If we are internally compelled to automatically feel, act, perceive, or evaluate situations, it’s like we are a machine with a button that can be pushed.

But with awareness we have more choice, more control, and the opportunity to look at different solutions rather than simply reacting.

What would your life look like if you had more control over what the events of your life seemed to mean and how you felt about them? Wouldn’t more choice and control in these areas significantly change your 
experience of life?

Most people assume feelings “just happen” but is that true? Why is one person moved to tears by an event that makes another person angry and yet another person is apathetic? Feelings come from the meanings we assign to situations and if we have awareness of our thoughts and beliefs, we can change our feelings, we can become happier.

On Thursday April 30, 2020 @ 3:30 Eastern Time I’ll be sharing an exercise to help you step into mastery of self-awareness. If you’d like to eliminate some of those emotional triggers and give yourself more choices, join me this Thursday on Zoom.


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Cooties? Yea, that word definitely ages me. In the 1970’s it was used frequently and it meant something invisible (some would say make-believe) that was considered contagious and was to be avoided.

If a classmate had dirty clothes or they had a smell, kids would yell out “cooties” and run away. It was not very nice to be targeted and you certainly didn’t want to be on the receiving end of having cooties.

But sometimes it was in jest too. All boys had cooties and so the girls played together at recess. And it didn’t just have to do with people, if we saw something disgusting (i.e. a used tampon) we would look at each other and say, “gross, cooties.”

Imagine my surprise when I watched a video this weekend and found out cooties are real! And their scientific name is Exosomes. These guys are tiny and require an electron microscope and they have to do with RNA (vs. DNA).

Exosomes do not need to travel through regular body pathways (circulatory system, lymphatics, nervous system) but according to the journal of Cell Bioscience “they were shown to carry cell-specific cargos of proteins, lipids, and genetic materials, and can be selectively taken up by neighboring or distant cells far from their release, reprogramming the recipient cells upon their bioactive compounds.”

Ok, I know, that’s a lot of jargon, but essentially it says that Exosomes can travel through the air around a person and pass along specific “information” (cooties infection) without requiring physical contact.

There was a study of mice where one group of mice were induced with liver damage from acetaminophen (tylenol) and were able to share their genetic information and the resulting liver disease damage with another group of mice who then showed biological markers for liver disease even though they had never been given the acetaminophen.

We have a “cloud” of information surrounding us that encodes our wellness and our un-wellness. We all have cooties. There’s a lot of controversy around Exosomes and viruses … essentially, I guess, they look the same under a micron microscope. And this may be relevant for what is going on in the world right now.

Exosomes and un-wellness have a common factor … toxins and EMF’s. Both toxins and EMF’s create cell damage (like in the mice from acetaminophen) and exude virus-like exosomes. Could those virus-like exosomes be transferred from one person to another? Research seems to suggest it’s a possibility.

If the virus-like exosomes create disease symptoms (which they do), which would be the better cure … get to the root of the cause of the problem (get the person on a detox program and protect them from EMF exposure, heal the damaged cells) OR give them a vaccine to block the effect of those specific exosomes (and repeatedly give vaccines for each different type of virus-like exosome because the flu vaccine does not protect you from herpes and that vaccine does not protect you from coronavirus)?

What makes the most sense to you? Detox and heal the cells or vaccinate? Or is it a combination of the two?

I’m personally not a fan of too many vaccines from the perspective of accumulating too many heavy metals (mercury and aluminum) and other adjuvants in my body … especially since my inflammatory system has a history of going overboard (chronic pain diagnosis).  And I know there are lawsuits from iatrogenic reactions to vaccines, especially to flu shots. But the most troublesome for me is the use of aborted fetuses in vaccines.

I’d really like the option to avoid vaccination and live a healthy toxin-free lifestyle … I’d like to think that my exosomes would be exuding the sweet perfume of vibrant health to others around me vs. sending out those stinking cooties. But I would still be exposed to the cootie exosomes of others who aren’t living a healthy toxin-free life and according to research, that does make an impact.

So the real answer (at least to me) seems to be exposing the great harm to all of society from artificial fragrance, heavy metals, drugs, GMO’s, 5G EMF, xenoestrogens, and all of toxins that impact us on an epigenetic level. I guess I’m back to square one, because that’s what I have been trying to do for the past several years while sharing my own healing journey. The information I learned on exosomes this weekend only provides another piece of the puzzle that this is the right direction.

The whole idea of exosomes reminds me of Dr. McCoy (Star Trek) scanning the outside of a person with his handheld device to determine what was wrong with them on the inside. The future is catching up with us! The science of cooties is here!


Super Stress

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There is stress and there is super stress. A pandemic qualifies in the ‘super stress’ category. Daily life and routines are affected.

Normal stress over time creates edgy emotions and a predisposition to getting sick. We are now a month into ‘super stress’ mode.

There are some things that help people deal with stress that you can apply during this super stress time.

One thing is structure. Your life used to be structured by work, social gatherings, athletic events, clubs, family get togethers. Now that is no longer the case, but your mind and body still crave the normality that structure brings. And that can be in your control! I’m going to daily mass online every morning at 8:15am and that helps structure my day. If you were never a list maker in the past, create to-do lists for the day or the week. Have a morning routine and an evening routine that includes your self-care … soaking in the tub, stretching, yoga, brushing your teeth, plan what you’ll cook for the day.

Another thing is appreciation. If you have a pet, notice how peaceful they look when they sleep and soak that in. If you have plants, notice how they are still thriving and growing. Now that you have extra time, just sit and listen to the bird songs and watch a sunbeam through your window. Life is going on, it’s just happening at a slower pace, soak it in, and feel the gratitude for all that is still normal in nature.

And an oldie but a goodie is breath exercises. Sometimes anxious feelings creep in and you need something to move that negative pressing energy out of your body. Breath work does work. Physically, the large breathing muscle called the diaphragm has direct innervations to the stress/relaxation nerve called the vagus nerve. There are many different ways to activate the relaxation of the diaphragm but all require you to focus on your breathing. I’ll give you three breath exercises: 1) navy seals square or box breathing – inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4 and then repeat; 2) slowly breath in deeply to fill your belly and feel your internal organs expand and separate; and 3) use your imagination and breathe in through your tail bone allowing the breathe to move up the nervous system of your spine and imagine exhaling through the top of your head, now switch and breathe in through the very top of your head and allow your breath to move down your spine and exhale through your tail bone. There are so many different types of breathing … yoga breathing, baby breathing, one nostril breathing, sharp inhale and exhale breathing … practice them all and see which works best to remove anxious stress from your body.

The super stress of these times can cause us to close in and feel disconnected from others, so be sure and evaluate your reactions … are they judgmental or curious? are they fearful or informative? are they frustrated or forgiving?

Breath in compassion and love and serenity and you will be a powerful creator of your life. You will organize your success. You will attract the support and resources you need. You will maintain your appreciation for what is good and your vision of what can be. And you will have peace.

If you had the power to create anything this month what would it be?


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Facebook memories of past Easter celebrations are coming up and it’s a poignant reminder of what will be missing this year. How much I took those family times for granted. The normal ebb and flow of life that is now such a beloved memory. These type of feelings normally occur after the death of a loved one and their absence is keenly noted. But todays circumstances are heralding the death of ordinariness and that is such an acute loss.

I’m turning more deeply to God … to thank Him for everything I had and to beg that normal times return soon. Spirituality is one way I’m finding peace through these difficult days. Just last week I started writing down the bible readings from each day.

Sirach 20

Romans 13:8-14

Jeremiah 22:3-9

Jeremiah 39:8-14

Psalm 79

Ezekiel 13

Daniel 4

Summary of those verses: I learned about the conduct of the wise and the foolish. Love fulfills the law and to be aware of the end times. Do what is right and just, and have no strange gods. The walls of Jerusalem are destroyed. Pray for Jerusalem, help us God our Savior. There are false prophets of peace, an illusion of security. A dream interpreted … the king would be ‘cut down’ due to his pride to learn the lesson that Heaven rules and then after seven years of being humbled like a beast in the field he would renounce his sin and be restored.

It was pretty powerful to read through the week, particularly in light of what is happening around the world. Perhaps heaven is talking through the scriptures, sharing a little piece of the big picture of what is happening behind the scenes, and my response is “speak Lord for your servant is listening.” Spirituality is something that feels so much more important than ever to help get through the confusion and anxiety and possibilities of what is happening.

How will we end up getting through this pandemic? What will be the rippling outcome for years to come? The entire world has shut down. Is that really necessary? I’m too small in the scheme of things to know any real answers. But what I do know, is I’m finding comfort in my God and relying on the strength of my Savior Jesus, who overcame death on Good Friday by His resurrection on Easter morning.

Our situation today has similarities to the first Easter. The followers of Jesus were secluded in their homes, afraid for the future, fearing for their lives. Everything they knew was turned upside down and nothing would ever be the same. But their spirituality was deep, their ancestors had been through trying times, particularly in that first passover when they were freed from slavery and left Egypt. They too leaned in, to find comfort in God during spiritually trying times.

And God in His mysterious ways and in His mysterious time does save. The resurrection of Jesus is victory over the sting of death, not victory from dying, but victory over annihilation and the hopelessness that came with death. Jesus brings us hope of a glorious life after death. That’s spirituality with hope, one I can lean into for comfort no matter what is happening around me. Wishing you and yours a Blessed Easter * season.


*Easter is the historical remembrance of the resurrection event of Jesus.

I am a better person.

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I am a better person.

I am a better therapist.

I am a better wife.

I am a better christian.

I know myself. I love myself. I know my triggers. I always did the best I could under the circumstances. I honor my past reactions. I’m thrilled with my current reactions. I’m content. Fear doesn’t have a hold over me. I am assertive with empathy. I am flexible. And I have boundaries. I can stand my ground and I can give ground. I’m able to think in the moment and to ask for a moment of time to think. I am at peace with my choices.

All of those things make me a better person. They allow me to be authentic and truthful and caring and grounded. They allow me to feel deeply, know my values, and act in alignment with who I am. But it wasn’t always that way. I have had my fair share of struggles. I have lived nearly every day of my life since my birth in sympathetic arousal (i.e. in a state of the fight-flight response).

How can someone be living in stress since birth? I was born with a raw nervous system that led to sensory sensitivity. Just think of all the sensations an infant is bombarded with … fabrics, odors, baths, temperature, softness, hardness, being moved through space, being hungry, being touched … when someone has a raw sensory system, those sensations create pain responses in their brain placing that little one in chronic stress.

I lived that way forever and did quite well in life, thank you very much. I learned to de-stress (a process that had to be repeated over and over) and I learned to cope by avoiding crowds and unpleasant situations and things. You do what you have to do and it becomes like a second skin. Many things helped … horseback riding, essential oils, mindfulness, relaxation, the hot tub, therapeutic music CD’s, sensory integration therapy … they took the edge off the stress and made life good but nothing offered a permanent solution.

But nothing felt permanent until I started energy healing. I can’t tell you exactly why this worked, I can only tell it has worked (and it has worked for others). I feel different. I’m me without the protective skin and I’m a strong me. We’re in the middle of a pandemic with possible shortages looming on the horizon and I’m going with the flow. My husband notices the change, I’m his rock. It’s not that I don’t feel stress, it’s that stress doesn’t get a grip on me … I have the inner strength to break the hold.

Energy healing is a combination of psychology and bodywork … a mind-body technique that gets to the root of problems in the mind-body system we live in as an embodied soul. Energy healing is a clinically proven and scientifically based technique combined with coaching questions and imagery exercises. I started energy healing a couple of years ago and have cleared out a lot of old emotions and trauma memories. And that surprised me, because I really did have a good childhood, I didn’t expect to have much baggage. I guess there’s a little wounded part in all of us.

It didn’t happen overnight but it did happen; I can be impatient and want to push through but it still took a full year. And I couldn’t do it by myself (believe me I tried, I’m a big do-it-yourselfer), I had to hire a coach. Why did I hire help? I got to the point where I kept feeling like I had tried everything else (except for psychotherapy and I didn’t feel like I needed therapy) and yet I knew I was working too hard to keep stress at bay … there was something that kept pulling me back to pain, back to sensory sensitivity, back to avoiding, back to pushing down bitterness and I was so frustrated with that. I wanted that to change and I wanted it to change before I got even one year older.

What a good decision … actually it was an amazingly fantastically smart decision that is paying off big time. The real me is now shining through. And the real me is powerful. I am powerfully me. I am a better person. I am a better therapist. I am a better wife. I am a better christian. Why? In one word, LOVE. I am able to love more deeply. Clearing out negative energy makes room for love to shine through. And THAT makes me a better person.