Mortality

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Whenever I drive by a cemetery I say a little prayer for the deceased souls: “May the souls of the faithfully departed, through the Mercy of God, rest in peace.”

Last week when I was in limbo waiting for the retest on the breast lump, my own mortality came into clearer focus and I went through a type of life review.

I first thought of the people who depend on me, those who need me and would really grieve when I was gone … my husband, my parents, my nephew and I thought of my animals, my dog, my horses, my kitties. I began to feel a deep sadness over what they would experience if I were gone.

I also thought about my relationship with God and felt a great deal of gratitude over the ways He has acted in my life, I felt joy at the thought of meeting Him.

Then I thought of my life, a simple review … I have too much “stuff” … too many clothes, things that are sitting unused. I’ve been decluttering for the past 5 years and I need to keep at it.

I also thought of regrets … if I were to die, I’d regret not sharing my therapy gift more … not helping others through their emotional and physical pain. It became clear that I need to make myself more visible and available for therapy sessions. Even people I see daily at church do not know what I do, I’ve kept a pretty low profile and I felt regret for that.

Things I wouldn’t regret leaving also flashed through this review … the hateful politicking and division in the world. Good riddance.

It was only a week between the tests and I ended up being fine, albeit stressed, but the hidden gift during that week was the ability to allow myself to come sincerely face-to-face with my own mortality.

This week is Halloween (10/31), All Saints Day (11/1), and All Souls Day (11/2), a good week to think about your mortality. What would your life review bring forward? Who is blessing your life and are you spending time with them? Do you have too much stuff? Would you have any regrets? Could you act now and change those? In what ways can you strengthen your relationship with God? What would you be glad to leave behind? And can you spend a little less energy today on those things you would bid good riddance to? Are you willing to come face-to-face with your own mortality?

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