Weight. What do I want?

I want to feel comfortable riding my horse and not worry about hurting his back.

I want to look in the mirror and smile at my lean muscle.

I want to put on a size 8 and have it fit loose.

I want a size large to be large instead of having to get a 2x-large.

I want a normal body mass index.

I want to be able to cross my legs easily.

I want to wear a tank top and not worry about my arms looking fat.

I want to look and feel sexy for my hubby.

I want to lose weight to help my blood pressure come down.

I want to get to my ideal weight without feeling like it’s torture.

I want to feel healthy and strong.

If you’re carrying excess weight, you probably identify with some of these. What is your weight story? What do you want?

I have stress. Stress creates weight gain. I recognize my cravings and I do have emotional binges at times. Eating feels good, it’s an emotional pick up, but emotional eating creates weight gain. Subconsciously, being a highly sensitive person, I have put on weight as a sort of protective barrier to the busy-ness of the world.

This Thursday I’m offering a group call-in energy healing focusing on removing subconscious emotional blocks to weight loss. I hope to benefit as much as those who listen in so I’m offering this session for FREE to all who want to attend. Click Here for more info and I hope to “see” you in a few days!



I enjoy being in nature, particularly with my dog.

Ten years ago I was running two miles (and more) a day.  I was lean and I felt strong.

In the fall of 2012 I stopped running and went back to walking. Instead of feeling good after running, I felt sore and achy; my body felt twisted and out of alignment.

It’s a good thing I didn’t push through, my body was compromised and I was using a lot of compensatory movements. What does that mean? Experiment and put on a splint that immobilizes your wrist and notice how you type on the computer, get dressed, and drive your car … all those strange positions you use to work around your wrist splint are compensatory movements … you’re compensating around a stiff spot.

Six years ago I had a lot of different stiff spots in my body … my body was splinting itself in order to allow me to continue getting into the positions my work in hippotherapy required. In the spring of 2013, my body simply broke down into a chronic pain syndrome.

It wasn’t running that I needed to stop, it was an issue in my job that was the cause and I was either blind to it or ignored it (I’m not sure I’ve really decided which it was). But I’m glad I stopped running before I ended up with a lifelong injury.

Fast forward to 2018. I’ve spent five years healing … I changed my job, I started using essential oils, I live a detoxing lifestyle, and I get bodywork almost weekly. I’m in my 50’s and I can’t afford not to invest in my future health … the time’s ‘running’ out to get things turned around so I can age gracefully.

Guess what! It’s starting to pay off. Five years is not overnight … it doesn’t fit in the medical model of prescribe and surgically remove … and the money to do it came out of my own pocket, but it’s working! I’ve started running again! For the past two months, in addition to walking the two miles a day, I’ve added running for a half mile.

My dog loves it. My body feels strong when I do it. Well, to be honest, the first week I ran it felt like my legs were heavy cement, but now I feel a rhythm. A slow one, but a good rhythm none the less. And I feel such a sense of satisfaction. I’m running again! It worked. I’m really back to running again!

A Tough Question


You know that one, right? What would Jesus do?

And the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would want done unto you.

Have you ever wondered why Jesus didn’t heal everyone He met? Only some were healed. He was God, why not heal everyone. Was that cruel? What a tough question.

I can’t presume an answer, but I have some ideas. We know from scripture that some people didn’t have enough faith to be healed (Mt. 13:58).

But I think there is more to it. I think part of the answer lies in the mystery of suffering. Jesus shows us that suffering, even suffering unto death, can be a source of redemption if you unite it with God.

Suffering can be a source of mystical redemption applied along with Christ’s sufferings for yourself and others (Col 1:24).

Suffering can be a way of showing you that you’re doing something wrong and that you need to change course; a heart attack may just be the wake up call to finally move from a stressful job or change your long standing eating habits.

Suffering may be what’s needed to make your heart more open to empathy and understanding the pain of others. There are so many stories of a family member impacted for example by a drunk driver and then creating a support group for others.

And your suffering might be what others need to see in order to realize the blessings they have in their own life. Thank you God that I have warm running water for my shower this morning, thank you God that I have a safe house and comfortable bed, thank you God that I have food and a refrigerator … and so on.

And someone’s suffering may be the opportunity for another person to experience the gift of practicing self-giving and generosity rather than being self-absorbed. Have you ever watched a person in a wheelchair struggle to carry groceries and then you see someone offer to help that person. Isn’t that a good feeling?

God wants everything to ultimately turn out for good and you know, the highest good is Heaven. If suffering here on earth helps us on our journey to heaven, then it can be good, just like being healed can be good. A tough question can have a complex spectrum of answers (and I’m sure I haven’t even covered the tip of the iceberg) but one thing I didn’t do was judge God as cruel for not healing everyone.

If you’re the one suffering, that’s not easy, I get it, I’ve been there and I have felt depleted, dejected, depressed, forgotten and even angry. Sometimes it’s helpful to talk to someone else, but if you’re at all like me, you prefer to keep to yourself. But, even I talk in prayer to God and ‘offer it up’ … offering up your sufferings may sound trite to hear someone else tell you to do that, but there’s a sense of accomplishment when I choose to do it myself.

Have you ever wondered why Jesus didn’t heal everyone? What thoughts did you come up with? What do you think now?

The Fat Suit

Fat Suit

My weight has been down and it’s been up. Seems like a trend since childhood, first grade thin, second grade heavier. Now it seems to run in 10 year cycles. The heaviest year of my life was 1999 … the fear and hype of Y2K and end of the world stuff … my body thought it needed to store up fat just in case there would be a scarcity of food. I remember traveling to England to visit my brother and his family, the kids were in grade school. The flight was embarrassingly uncomfortable as my body spilled over onto the seat beside me, I sat twisted sideways as much as possible to contain my space. The afternoon I arrived, I went to the academy where my nieces and nephew were and the youngest, a first grader, ran to me in pure joy and lovingly introduced me to her new friends as her ‘fat Aunt Becky’ … there was no malice but I still cringe as I remember it to this day.

Fat can actually serve as a protective suit for many reasons …

  1. Emotional … fear was the case for my Y2K weight, fear of scarcity. Some people may use weight as a means of keeping people at a distance, as emotional protection against possible heart break. Other people may eat to fill an emotional need. Some have hidden shame and guilt from weight loss failures and others have emotions resulting from feeling judged by others. There are so many variations for this area.
  2. Sensory … a highly sensitive personality (like mine) experiences certain touch as pain and weight provides insulation from that and at the same time food is very calming to the overstimulated sensory system.
  3. Toxicity … the body stores toxins in fat tissue to isolate it from other tissues.
  4. Yeast … overgrowth, especially after an anti-biotic series is not uncommon and yeast steals the nutrients from food and leaves us with empty calories and cravings for more food.
  5. Allergies … create inflammation and gut inflammation prevents the proper processing of nutrients.
  6. Addictions … usually with flour and sugar, where sugar can be as addictive in the brain as cocaine and thus the dopamine craving cycle is created, zapping will power.

My weight is back up higher than I’m comfortable with, I believe stress, overcoming chronic pain and menopause issues … all those various hormones play havoc with metabolism. I feel like I’m wearing a fat suit and I don’t like it.

Yesterday a friend texted me with a plea for help. She was away for the day and her neighbor had found her horse on the ground not moving. I went over and the horse was cast in the stall (trapped and unable to get itself up). The neighbor was quite stressed and when she saw me she said, “Wow, your weight changed, I remember you 5 years ago and you were skinny as a rail.” What do you say to that? I said, “get a rope, get a bed sheet” … I was in action mode to save this horse and my weight was irrelevant. In about 15 minutes the horse was back on it’s feet and running and eating. I then turned to the neighbor and said, “I don’t remember seeing you before” and she replied it was in passing. I wasn’t mad, I wasn’t shamed, I know when people are under stress, they can say things they normally wouldn’t say, I’ve done that before. We shared our relief and excitement about helping the horse and parted ways.

I’m ready to tackle this weight issue, shedding my fat suit. And that is why I’m offering this month’s Emotion Code clearing on weight at no cost to you … I hope to benefit from the emotional releases as much as you do. Emotions are only one piece of the puzzle but how else are you going to address that piece? The Emotion Code work is so simple and so easy. Many of the other reasons for storing fat, you can work on independently by yourself. Considering joining me later this month to address the emotional piece, it’s via phone, and you can listen in wearing your PJ’s and holding a warm herbal tea. Are you ready to shed your fat suit? I am!