I’ll keep this brief … I’ve given myself a “staycation” this week. A week to play and rest. I get to nap every day. I get to read fantasy novels as long as I want. I get to watch the Hobbit and Lord of the Rings extended editions through from start to finish. I may play with my horses or in my garden if the whim strikes me. But what I can’t do is spend loads of time sitting with work. No marketing, no studying, no writing, no tweaking.
It took only a few hours into the first day of Staycation to feel guilty, to feel nudged to get back into the routine, to rationalize that it’s really enjoyable and after all “you’re following your passion.” Yes, true. But … I’ve lost something called “play” … I’m so learning and business focused. I give myself permission to ignore the guilty nudges and walk with my dog. I needed to move to get that out of my system.
Day two of Staycation, I congratulate myself on having a simply fun day and then the inner voice tells me “it’s time to get back to work.” I’m very tempted but then I remind myself that this is like a work addiction and that I’m more than my work. Most weeks I put in 60 to 70 hours of my life into work. But this week, it’s down to the bare essentials … I’m determined to keep it to 20 hours (or less). I sit down with a book for a few hours and then pop some popcorn for a movie. Wonderful.
Day three, something happened in that in-between state this morning … that time between dreaming and waking. I had a vision of myself lying or rather floating in supine position in a type of underground world. This world went on in all directions and was not pleasant nor was it painful, it just was and it was shades of gray. And as it was for a long period of space, it seemed to be that way for time as well. It may have been a type of purgatory or limbo? But it was very clear in my mind as I rested there that mundane work tasks did not add to any joy in that place. BUT, the little kindnesses I have offered others and the small ways I brought good into the world did matter … they brought little bits of color and warmth and happiness in that space.
What a profound break through. The nagging feelings that I was being lazy and that taking time off work was a waste simply crumpled away as spirit began to shine through with the real truth. The truth of the value of the little things that matter in life. It took a brief “time out” to let that shine through.
I still have a few days left in Staycation. A brief counterpoint to the everyday busy-ness that fills life. This is a perfect ending to summer and a perfect approach to understanding our upcoming Labor Day holiday. Are you crazy busy? Do you allow yourself much downtime? How do you deal with the nagging feelings that you “should” be doing something else if you take a break? Do you even get those accusing feelings like I do?
Time to wrap this up and curl up with coffee and a book. I can feel my body begin to sigh and relax. It wasn’t easy at first, but it’s getting easier to “let go.”
Desert Well 