What Was, What Is, What Could Be

Clouds and Sun

I spend so much time in what could be it’s paralyzing sometimes. I’m not so caught up in what was in the past but I know that could equally be where others run from or fight their inner demons. But for me I’m plotting out the future course of my business, wondering what the benefits would be if I advanced my college degree, angsting over our poorly performing retirement investments and wondering if the American economy will go bankrupt.

What Was

Childhood Memories

Abuse of Ourself

Abuse from Others

The Invincibility of Youth

Past Foibles and Mistakes

High School

Places We Lived

Things We Had and Things We Didn’t Have

Deaths

Life Events Occurring in Society at the Time

 

What Is

Daily Sunrise and Sunset

Season of the Year

Annoyances

Favorite Pet

Current Relationship

Where We Work or Go To School

How We Spend Free Time

Aches and Pains

Family and Friends

Food We Eat

 

What Could Be

Weight

Beauty

Wealth

Recognition

Dream Job

Ideal Relationships

Freedom From ___________ (insert your own word)

Freedom To  ___________ (insert your own word)

More Time To Do What I Want

Peace

 

Like I said earlier, I tend to spend a lot of time in “what could be.” But I didn’t add the dark side to the list. I didn’t mention the brooding fears. You see, I also spend “what could be” time thinking about losing all the good that is currently in my life – losing the freedom my country provides me, losing my health, losing my reputation, losing my financial status, losing my aging mom and dad, losing the home I love, losing my work, losing my husband …  I spend way too much anxious energy in those areas.

The one place I can make a difference is in “what is” now – it’s where I can address “what was” and “what could be” … but I can’t spend so much time on past memories or so much time in dreams or fears that I don’t take time for the action of living in the moment. Even if that “action” is simply standing in awe of a sunset. In fact, I don’t believe I’ve ever regretted or experienced more peace than when watching the colors of the sunset spread over the sky. I don’t regret taking time off work and spending it with my mom and dad each week. I don’t regret making the effort to pray each day and take a walk with my husband in the morning. I don’t regret the lazy Sunday bareback rides on my 25 year old horse or the adventures in the woods with my dog.

I’m going to redouble the conscious effort of fully embracing each moment now – the pain, the tastes, the pleasures, my friends, my family, my dog and my horses, my husband, summer activities, an enjoyable book, and of course by greeting the sunrise and sunset of today. I’m going to let go of the paralyzing fears of “What Could Be” and focus on the day at hand.

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