A New Day Is Dawning

It’s a new day … dawning beautifully and awe-fully. Yes, in both ways … the day is filled with awe and I try to absorb it in but I feel a deep sorrow, actually awful inside. I tell myself you “shouldn’t” feel that way, look at the blessings around you … but never-the-less I do feel that way…

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Yesterday was Father’s Day and I hosted the party. For a highly sensitive person who tends towards perfectionism … this is stressful in itself … cleaning, finding the right gifts, planning a meal, setting the time when everyone can come and then the sensory overload of “people” all around … I love my family and they really offer just the normal family stresses – probably more minimal than most … but when you have a highly sensitive personality, just being around a crowd, no matter how beloved, is sadly draining.

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But there is another layer added on … my parents are aging and I don’t know how many more family celebrations we will all be together … I think of those bittersweet things, I don’t know why.  And my father’s memory is fading and when I looked at the photo below where it appears he is “out-of-focus”, that hit home in a really hard way.

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And this morning, I was grateful for routines and chores … I could feel the tension leaving my body as I walked my dog and prayed a rosary with the sun dappling down and then throwing bales of hay to the horses … the heavy work felt good.

I looked in the yard at the flowers blooming and in June the day lilies are the center of attention … and that seemed appropriate to my mood … these flowers, although only here for a day and then gone, are lovely and were teaching me to appreciate each day and what it brings … everything is here for a limited time, our forever home is heaven.

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It feels like I can breath easier … my mood feels lighter. I need the lessons in nature. Thank you for that. Yes, a new day is dawning … dawning indeed.

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