Time On, Time Off

21 below zero

Last week the weather was cold too, but I had a book I was finishing up, a determined focus with self-imposed 12-hour days that actually flew by.

That’s a lot of “time on” working while sitting inside hunched over a computer. My usual chronic pain management strategies are walking in nature, getting bodywork treatment and relaxing nagging aches in my hot tub.

I accomplished the book publication but it came at an expense. The picture above is the temperature today, yes, 21 below zero. My hot tub is outside and I haven’t been in it for a couple of weeks, my weekly bodywork session was cancelled this week, and I haven’t been walking in nature much either.

I felt it, without the driven focus on the book, the pain became more clear just less than a day after the book was on Amazon. With the pain, my blood pressure spikes, it’s just my peculiar symptom. And then I get panic feelings “what if this causes a stroke” or “what if I have a heart attack.”

I’m forced into “time off.” I started to use the Morphine Bomb – it’s a natural pain relief remedy using essential oils that I learned from a doTERRA Facebook page – 6 drops of doterra marjoram plus 6 drops of doterra frankincense in a veggie cap taken every 6-8 hours. (I only mention brand names because not all essential oils are labeled as a supplement or pure enough to safely be taken internally.)  And I slept – that night 15 hours!

I still wasn’t feeling well and ended up at the doc’s office. The pain and blood pressure, and the anxiety over both were spiraling out of my control and I needed more help. The doc gave me Rauwolfia, a herb that naturally controls blood pressure and it may be a placebo effect, but I felt relief with the first dose.

It’s been about 5 days and the pain is still there, off and on, sometimes nauseating, probably around a level 5 out of 10, but the anxiety is gone and the blood pressure is stabilizing. I probably wait too long to take the essential oil ‘Morphine Bomb’ but I only want to use it when I really have to, not just for a low-grade pain level. I added in some motrin and that has seemed to help too. I really prefer just water and vitamins … but the medical tools are there when I need an intervention and I use them.

Last week was a lot of “time on” and this week and maybe the next and even the next after that will be “time off” … and that’s ok, it has to be, my body needs it, my battery needs recharging.  The tough part is not feeling guilty about “time off” and not allowing others to judge me by it. I’ll keep tabs on it, monitor the pain scale, do chores and taxes for 10 minutes and then rest, and then give it another go.

Hopefully it’ll warm up soon and I’ll be back to those things that get me through … hot tubbing and walking in nature. I’m counting the days until my next bodywork appointment.  I will get through this flare, I freely give myself the time I need to heal and revitalize.

Time On, Time Off.

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