A year ago in September I had just finished a business course geared towards helping highly sensitive professionals come “out of the closet” so to speak. To allow their gifts to enrich others and their light to shine. That is the month I stepped out of my box and scheduled a professional photo shoot with my animals. I wasn’t exactly comfortable with the picture idea, especially since the prescription pain medication I had been on caused me to gain 20 pounds, but I needed some marketing photos.
These are a couple of the results and I’m so happy I stepped out of my comfort zone and went a head with the plan even though I was feeling “fat”. I’ve used those pictures for four books I have on Amazon now – the fruit of making myself “visible” to the public in the past year.
This year I turned 50 and decided to schedule another marketing photo shoot on my birthday. But again I felt ambivalent. Over the past year, I’ve helplessly put on an additional 30 pounds. My metabolism has changed and for me, I feel like I’m wearing a “fat suit”. I can’t even cross my legs comfortably now and because of the off and on pain levels, I haven’t been running like I love to do. But I recalled the way I felt about the previous photo shoot last year (ending up loving the results) and so I kept my appointment.
And again, I’m really glad I did push forward into visibility. I love this photographers work and I have some wonderful marketing images. I could have allowed emotional negative self-talk and body image to influence this, but something else stronger is emerging in me. I’m certainly not invincible, I do know pain, but maybe the whole pain experience is grounding me too. Allowing me to sort out what is really important and what is not.
A gift from pain? Maybe that is possible?! Because I am reframing things and I believe my life experience with all it’s beauty and all it’s warts is helping me in aging gracefully.