The Backstory

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I’m going through an intense advanced certification process using the emotional freedom technique (EFT). The course is called ‘Ignite Your Healing.’ EFT, also known as tapping, is a research based process that calms the physiological body response to stress. Deep breathing is another process (one used by the military) that calms this physiological fight/flight response. ‘Ignite Your Healing’ uses visualization, breathing, and tapping to uncover and heal old trauma and emotional wounds.

One of the processes had us asking ourselves when we felt our body let us down. I immediately had a scene of myself as a 2yo with my first horse ride. The intensity of feeling my body let me down was a 10 out of 10.

The backstory behind that event was that was the first time I had seen a real horse. I immediately fell in love. The horse was magnetic to me and I couldn’t stop staring at it. The neighbor saw me and asked if I wanted a ride. Of course I did, everything sparked inside with excitement and longing.

The feeling of sitting on that horse was like no other, it was magic. My little 1 1/2 yo brother was placed on the horse with me. Nothing else in the world was as wonderful as this. Love pulsed through my system.

Then the neighbor started to walk the horse. I felt tippy, unsafe. I hoped my brother didn’t fall. I hoped I didn’t fall. I even hoped my little brother might help me stay on. This was scary, mixed with awesome, mixed with terror. So confusing. Why wasn’t there an adult there to help me? I was sliding off the side. Oh God, that couldn’t happen. I wouldn’t let it happen. But I had such little control. This is awful. I hate my body for not staying balanced. It betrayed me.

The ride stopped, we were taken off the horse and I was shaking. I was in shock. The happiness and love and excitement from moments before were buried deep. But I couldn’t stop feeling pulled magnetically to the horse. A deep love of horses was born that morning. But also a deep seated fear. And that’s the backstory. That came up for healing. And I tapped and tapped.

That long ago event has colored all my horse experiences since. Holding me back from fully feeling the light fun emotions around horses. It’s time to heal, it’s time to honor that little me. It’s time to acknowledge her courage and that her body was perfect. It acted exactly as it did because it couldn’t have been differently. An adult should have been there to help. But they weren’t and it was perfectly normal to feel tippy when you’re two years old and the first time on a horse.

I honor my body for everything it did. I allow my body to relax, I allow my muscles to relax. It no longer serves me to grip and feel like I’m going to fall off when I ride horses now. My adult self went back into that memory and offered the support and help that little girl needed. It calmed her and praised her. It made her smile and feel loved.

That’s the backstory and that’s the new story moving forward. I honor my body for all it does for me. I honor my past experience. I honor my fight/flight response and I allow it to relax now. I’m open to feeling safe and joyful around horses. I honor my body and acknowledge my deep love for horses. I honor my body.

And I keep tapping through the points as I repeat those phrases above. I’ll need to do it more than once but it feels like the intensity has gone down to a 6 or 7. That’s close to 4 points lower and that’s a lot less stress flowing subconsciously under the surface in my system. Since horses are a big part of my life and my business, this is huge. Soon, I’ll be able to invite you to the ‘Ignite Your Healing’ process. I’ll let you know when the certification process if complete!

The “Why”

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I’ve been working with a transformational business coach on developing and expanding my online business options. I bring over 50 years of horse experience to the mix, along with being a certified riding instructor and therapist who has run an equine business for over 20 years. The favorite parts of my work are building rider confidence and offering stress and pain relief therapy for women.

Some of the business exploration below is based on Simon Sinek and Brendan Bruchard’s work. There were three different series of questions that I had to answer as I felt deeply into who I am. Here is what I came up with:

First … What is your why, how, and what?
Why – I believe people benefit and grow into their best selves with innovative transformational work
How – I apply that by bringing pain and stress relief techniques to horse people and their horses
What – through my online Saddle Fit Simplified and Full Stride mindfulness courses, my transformational business and coaching with courage sessions, centered riding lessons, and Brown Pony Series horse books

Second … What is your theory, process, transformation, and transcendence?
Theory – horses are flight animals, watchful of herd, react to those around them
Step-by-Step Processes – how to make horses comfortable, how to practice stress release for yourself
Transformation – so you can have a safe understanding relationship with your horse built on trust and partnership
Transcendence – but what it’s really about is deeply connecting to others (people and animals) at a soul level with love and caring

AND Third … What is your passion and the benefits of your solution?
My passion: is having a natural ease around horses that radiates caring and connection
Benefits on my solution: safe interactions with horses, horses understanding of your requests and wanting to comply and please you

This has been an interesting process and if you have your own business, you can watch a short YouTube video from Simon Sinek that will get you started into feeling into your own why, how and what.

My first step in this new business direction is offering a FREE report aimed towards horseback riding instructors … offering them tips on creating a profitable business built in integrity by honoring the horse, involving the rider and setting up their barn in a professional manner. You can preview it at http://www.RideWithSuccess.com and it will be ready to launch and share with others soon. Wish me luck!

 

Creative Analyst

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Creative Analyst? Yep, that’s me. At least according to several entrepreneurial personality style quizzes.

I see it. I own it. Although I’m deeply introverted, I’m fairly equally balanced between the logical side of the brain and the creative side. I can keep things structured and bring together novel ideas all at the same time.

I’m best when I sample a lot of life and then notice the best parts, take those and piece them together for something amazing and fantastic. It’s so easy for me I wonder why someone else hasn’t done it before!

Currently I’m directing that talent to creating a free gift for horseback riding instructors. Horses cost so much and they are always needing tips on how to get new students and keeping money coming in.

Here’s a sneak peek at what it’ll contain: 5 Steps Successful Horseback Riding Instructors Do To Keep Lesson Money Coming In … I’ve used the acronym HORSE to outline the five steps.

H – Honor Your Horse (Tips for building a willing partner)

O – Open up to the Possibilities (Law of Attraction questions)

R – Raise the Bar (Building the business)

S – Safe, Successful, and Satisfied (Winning lesson plan strategies)

E – Ensure Rider Happiness (recognizing fear and releasing stress + much more)

What do you think? What tips do you have that could be shared with those in business, those who work with horses, those who teach riding lessons? I’d love your input too! Even a creative analyst can have a blind spot and miss something 🙂

DNA Based Healthcare

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Customized health plans based on your DNA? The wave of the future? Actually a company called IQ YOU HEALTH is currently putting together a comprehensive health plan for people based on their DNA, recent lab test results, and their lifestyle history. The term for that is epibiogenetics.

Intellectually and intuitively I’ve known the importance of detoxing, living a natural life, eating organically, and getting daily exercise. And I’ve put that knowledge into daily practice. But I still experienced hormone balance problems at menopause, fatigue and pain, high blood pressure, and unwanted weight gain.

So I decided to invest $279 that includes the full comprehensive DNA testing. I already had my DNA testing done through Ancestry.com but health DNA testing is much different and I wanted the newer testing that looks at specific health risk chromosomes. This DNA testing is looking for SNP’s.

Single nucleotide polymorphisms, frequently called SNPs (pronounced “snips”), are the most common type of genetic variation among people. Researchers have found SNPs that may help predict an individual’s response to certain drugs, susceptibility to environmental factors such as toxins, and risk of developing particular diseases.” Excerpt from the U.S. National Library of Medicine.

I just received my DNA test results back. 

I have about 20 SNP’s in the endocrine area which is why hormone balance has been difficult for me and why some people, without those SNP’s, have no menopause issues. Many of my endocrine related SNP’s are also obesity mutations. In horse terms, I would be considered an “easy keeper.” In human terms, I probably inherited those genes because my ancestors were hardy and they were the ones who survived famines. In real terms, thanks to genetics, I have an uphill battle to maintain a healthy weight.

I have several SNP’s related to lactose intolerance … really, I had no idea? I have never had issues with dairy that I can recall, but I will try to cut back on cheese. Oh, how I love cheese … cheddar, mozzarella, feta, hot pepper cheese … cutting back will be difficult.

It’s a good thing I actively work on reducing environmental toxins and have a regular detox regimen because I also had many SNP’s that are supposed to make detoxing difficult … and thus lead to inflammation and increased pain.

One of the most interesting set of SNP’s were those related to relaxing my blood vessel walls (or actually not allowing the blood vessel walls to relax). I have faulty nitrous oxide pathways which is leading to high blood pressure. I knew it wasn’t simply sodium like the doctor suggested.

The secondary action of the blood vessel walls being unable to relax puts me physiologically in a sympathetic stress response. This creates a cascade that tells my mind I’m in danger when I’m not … it’s not my thoughts, it’s not my emotions, it’s not external stress, it is from my body’s DNA. And the sympathetic nervous system stress cascade affects the heart, the lungs, muscle tightness and more. Wow. That makes a lot of sense for me and takes away the guilty feeling of why I feel stressed out when my life is actually really good. Now I know why, it’s in my DNA not my environment.

There were good things on the DNA report too. My immune system was good, my neurological system was good, my muscles and bones were good (i.e. I’m not prone to arthritis) and my urinary/kidney system was good.

The IQYOU HEALTH website reports also give recommendations for diet, exercise, and supplementation. I found out I have a gene that impacts Vitamin D levels and I need high levels of supplementation or will be at risk for a cardiovascular event. Yikes, bring on the Vitamin D! No wonder I loved laying out in the sun as a kid, I just felt better getting my Vitamin D from sunshine. They also recommended (based on my DNA) that I will utilize Black Cohosh much better than other people for hormone balance. And they recommended that I supplement with high levels of potassium to support blood vessel relaxation.

I’ve started implementing their recommendations and my blood pressure immediately went down. All in all, I felt this venture was well worth the investment. I like knowing what I’m physically made of (DNA) and how it impacts my health and what I can do about it. I like their research-based “specific to me” recommendations so I can continue to bolster my health.

If you’ve been on the fence about trying something like this, I can honestly say the small investment is worth the price! The only downside with the service I purchased was that I got a year of their IQYOU free but I had to request that it not be automatically renewed at their $90 annual rate. I just hate automatic renewals on things like that. But other than that, it was a great service! Aren’t you curious about what’s in your DNA?

 

Reincarnation

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Heb 9:27  “each person is destined to die once and after that comes judgment”

Some excellent healers I’ve worked with sometimes mention that the trauma pain points they are working on releasing in my body are residual from one of my “past lives.” I’m a christian, I believe we live on earth during our one lifetime and then pass into eternal life after death. Thus I cringe a little inwardly when they infer something is causing my current pain based on another life I lived hundreds of years ago, i.e. their belief in reincarnation.

That doesn’t mean I don’t understand what those healers are ultimately referring to. Just this week I had a treatment session where something was going on in the right side of my ribcage around the liver area. The healer said they could sense a rolling, tumbling sensation and in my mind’s eye I felt like I was inside a box rolling over and over as if in a small enclosed carriage that had fallen off the edge of a mountain road. It felt coffin like and although I felt none of the pain, I sensed death occurred as the rolling stopped. But it wasn’t my death and it wasn’t any event that happened in my lifetime.

I believe we may have accidental access to brief snippets of ancestor’s memories through what is known as the quantum field physics principle where through a certain connection (i.e. DNA in this case) time and space become irrelevant and what happens to one, affects the other. How does this happen? I can theorize that during my bodywork pain relief session, my fascia released and when the pain and tightness let go, on a cellular level, trapped energy released and impacted my DNA triggering a very subtle sensation and cueing a brief “movie” snippet to run in my mind’s eye. It’s something that could easily be missed if you weren’t tuned into experiencing the awareness of your body.

I also believe in trauma trapped inside the body, everyone knows about PTSD. I believe in inherited trauma, epigenetics is a newer science that shows how roughly 85% of our genes can be turned on or off by an environmental event and those genetic based emotion triggers or survival patterns are then passed down at conception to children. I believe in learned trauma patterns, where the victim can grow up and exhibit helplessness or become a perpetrator. I believe in generational trauma being passed down, where a significant event creates poverty or shame or a type of branding on a family for generations.

Reincarnation seems to go hand-in-hand with the belief in karma. Do I believe in “karma?” No, like reincarnation, I do not by the traditional definition of karma that says what you do now affects your future existences. But I do believe what was done in the past can effect future generations. And that there is cause and effect in this present life, that sowing good seeds reaps a good harvest That type of karma I do believe in and that concept appears in the scriptures:

Ex 20:5 “You shall not bow down to them or serve them (false gods), for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and the fourth generation of those who hate me.”

Dt 7:9 “Know therefore that the Lord your God is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, to a thousand generations.”

Ex 34:7 “keeping steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, but who will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children and the children’s children, to the third and the fourth generation.”

When I think of the system of beliefs in karma and reincarnation, I don’t judge those for holding those ideas but instead I reframe them through the possibilities that explain them from a christian point of view … through the science of epigenetics, the quantum physics principles of connectedness, the psychology of behavioral learning, societal conditioning, and perhaps even sometimes through supernatural influences of angels or demons or spirits. Although I believe God acts mostly through natural means and His laws of physics; i.e most people are healed through doctors rather than miracles but it doesn’t mean their isn’t room for mystery and miracles.

As a sensitive and intuitive soul, I have personally experienced how connected we are to each other, I can feel another person’s pain and emotional state. I also believe we can connect to God and also to those who have died before us. Each May, I say a little prayer and ask my long deceased Grandpa to help me find those delicious morel mushrooms.

What would be the point of thinking of a beloved deceased relative if I held the belief his or her soul wasn’t “them” anymore? If their soul reincarnated into a new person, my beloved wouldn’t really be my beloved anymore, they would be another persons beloved with a whole new history. How confusing to consider that to it’s end.

I think life is much simpler. I believe we are each a unique soul with a unique body and we have one lifetime to experience it all. Like Heb 9:27 says, “each person is destined to die once and after that comes judgment.” We need to make this lifetime count. And we need to pull together in charity and help others who are going through life in less fortunate circumstances through no personal fault of their own.

But I’m curious what you believe? How do your beliefs impact the way you treat others that are in less fortunate circumstances than yourself? What do you think of karma and reincarnation? If you believe in reincarnation, would you be open to explaining pains or “memories” or thoughts we experience that seem to come from other times in terms of the quantum field, epigenetics, ancestral conditioning, or through supernatural channels? Do you believe in karma? What type of karma?

Someday I may write a book to try and create a bridge on all these different healing ideas. To build understanding and common ground between people from very different world beliefs. But to do that, I’d need your interaction, comments and feedback. It takes vulnerability to write this blog, and I hope you’ll also be willing to be vulnerable and share your feedback. Thanks in advance!

Recovering From Burnout

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Working a dream.

Over giving.

Forging ahead through pain.

Caring.

Too much for others, not enough for me.

Compromising myself.

Feeling it in my body.

Dreading work.

Wanting to crawl in bed.

Being conscientious and doing what’s needed.

More pain, more stress.

Feeling unappreciated.

Taking care of others.

Needing some self-care but there’s no time.

Body crashes.

Can’t work.

Have to make time to recover.

There’s no joy, there’s only pain and guilt.

There’s depression … this can’t be happening.

Why me?

But I know why.

I ignored the messages from my body.

And it had to crash to get me to listen.

Now I’m listening.

When I look inside it’s a blackened landscape as far as the eye can see but one burned out tree has a leaf peaking through.

There is hope for new life.

But it’s hard to feel.

One step at a time.

Slowing down.

Taking a hard look at where I’ve been.

And where I want to be.

Trying to be patient with the process.

That is hard.

But I take a deep breath.

Time to reconnect with nature.

Time to reconnect with my horses and the things I love.

Just a few minutes a day is OK.

Allowing the space to heal from the guilt of having to “do” rather than to “be.”

The road has been long, actually several years.

But I’m sensing a new dream emerging.

One that brings balance for me and for others.

It’s a spiritual journey as much as a mind-body one.

Feeling delighted in the small things now.

Sunshine through the trees, violets in the grass.

Feeling content with where ever the journey goes.

Being curious.

Not jumping to an outcome, but rather experiencing each day in full.

The green is coming back.

The tree is beginning to burst with leaves.

I’ve passed through the worst.

With something to share.

I understand the darkness.

I’ve been there.

Necessity of Pain

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I listen to a lot of educational seminars and one speaker spoke on the necessity of pain. I bristled at the thought. My life mission is to help others release the pain in their life.

The speaker suggested that pain was a path to information a person needs to learn in this lifetime and who are we to want to remove pain before they receive the gift that comes from embodying that lesson.

We can get uncomfortable when people don’t feel good around us. We just want to make them feel better so we can feel better. Especially when the pain is emotional. We may say things like, “they don’t really know you,” “they’re stupid for acting that way” or other affirming statements.

But what if you allowed the person to feel the pain and asked, “I wonder why you’re hurting so much from this” or “I’m sorry you’re hurting and I wonder if there is something deeper for you to discover from this.”

Emotions, in the moment last for only 90 seconds, so why try to bury them, not fully feel them, allow the energy to run it’s course through your body? The thing that keeps emotions going are the stories we make up about why we have those emotions.

The story is not constructive but the pain can be informative. It takes curious “I wonder …” questions and a willingness to feel into your body. Does the emotion cause pain in your shoulders? You stomach? Does it make you clench your jaw? Just notice those things  and feel them with awareness.

My own pain from expecting too much from my body when working in therapy and from events that impacted my business have birthed a new direction of creative endeavors and a way of helping other professional women who are struggling with burnout, stress, and chronic pain.

I help those women transform their deepest darkest pain into their greatest power. One thing I have them do during a triggering situation is to step on a ledge … take a moment to take a higher vantage point and look at the situation from the point of view of an observer.

And to notice what is the trigger, when have I felt that before, where in my body am I feeling this, what other situations make my body feel like this? To discover the answer within themselves to the question, “I wonder why this is happening?”

This allows a sliver of light to come in and allows you the time to decide, “do I react or do I respond?” There’s no right answer, because your decision is perfect for you in that moment. And you can look at that “perfect decision” later without judgement and consider other future options.

The more you are a conscious observer, the more light that comes in, the more you fully feel what is going on, the less the story is triggered, and you really start to embody your power. Being fully empowered is the lesson pain was trying to teach; once the lesson is learned, there is no necessity for pain and it disappears.

This process is not really work, it’s more about relaxing into a situation and letting go of your attachment to it. Suffering comes from holding on to something. We can be so unwilling to let go it keeps us stagnant, where we are, where we can’t evolve and see the next better thing down the road. Being stuck because things didn’t work out the way we wanted causes pain.

I’ll admit, even though the process isn’t work, it’s not easy. It’s not easy to relax and let go of those attachments. It’s not easy to feel into our body for 90 seconds and be curious. But it is doable, you can coach yourself through the process or be supported through the process by a coach. What is your pain telling you?